Don't.
Don't ever give up. Don't let frustration knock you down. Don't let fear stand in your way. Don't let time get in your head. Who cares how long it takes or how many times you try. Your only competition is yourself. And when you finally succeed, the struggle will all be worth it.
Recently I have found myself in a ditch. An actual hole that I dug perfectly for myself to sit in comfortably. I was okay will letting time pass on. I was okay with the procrastination and letting things just pile up. I kept telling myself that I would "get to it tomorrow", that "there just isn't enough time in one day". When I would look back on the next day to see what I had accomplished the day before, the answer would be nothing. I got used to accomplishing nothing with my day.
As some of you know, my days are busy. 66 hour work week, double masters program, Praxis exam in April, Certification for Behavior Technician in April and then my social life. But those that have been following my posts, and know who I am know that this is how I love to live my life. Those that read my post and don't really know me all that well also can see that I tend to fall off and get too busy that I lose track of a few things. I lose track of the things that mean the most to me. The few things that I do in my life that really hold me together for the other parts that I have to do.
Now let me just stop right there for a second and "vent". Having two jobs is a choice. A choice that I have to make in order to service living by myself in an apartment independently and responsibly paying all of my bills and making sure I have food on the table. Completing a double masters program is a choice that I had to make in order to better myself, my career and my education. Oh, don't forget that I need money to pay that off too. Praxis and certification exams are all a part of the ride. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I tell someone that I am busy, and their response is "well that is your choice". Yes in order to better myself and prevent myself from being stuck in life, I had to make the choice to do better and be better.
Okay, now that's out of the way, where was I? Oh yeah.. losing track of the things that hold me together. For the last month-ish I have been out of the gym. Partly for medical purposes, but because that was happening, I allowed myself to sink into this habit of just "giving up". I could've been stretching, doing some ROMWOD's and keeping up with my mobility. Going for walks with the pup or sitting on the bike and doing some light cardio. But I didn't. I could've jumped onto the computer and written out some blogs. There has been a bunch of new stuff happening in my life that I have been meaning to share with all of you. But that's the point. I think about it, I say and write down that I want to do it, and it just doesn't happen.
A big lesson I have been so fortunate to learn is that: It is okay to not be okay. If I could post a GIF of my face after I wrote that sentence it would be a hard eye roll! I don't like being anything but okay, better yet, I don't like admitting that I am not okay. I don't like asking for help and I don't like admitting that I have failed. Especially when I have failed myself. But, it's okay. You need a reset. Sometimes in your life, you're going to go through these periods where nothing is going to work. Nothing is going to seem right and you're just going to throw your hands up and say "fuck it". So you sit on that "fuck it" for a little bit and you dwell, be emotional, curse and throw a little fit, but you get over it. However long it takes, you get over it. You decided that enough is enough and its time to get out of that hole you dug for yourself. You decide that the pity party that you have just thrown for yourself is over and its time to move forward.
And I promise you, when you come out of that hole, you will be twice, no, three times as stronger than you were when you first jumped in.
