"People ask me why it's so hard to trust others. I ask, 'Why is it so hard to keep a pr
"I promise" are two words combined to make a whole heck of a lot of chaos. To be honest, I don't fully trust the words at all. Those that know me well, can attest to the fact that I hate broken promises. And, as you can probably guess, I hate them because I've received so many. So many in fact that I have grown to hate promises in general. Hate is a pretty strong word, but I do strongly despise them. All my life, my trust as been tested. Whether it was something I wanted or not. Sometimes I had to just deal with it and it wasn't so bad and I was able to just move on to the next day. Other times, that broken trust, the broken promises, hurt like hell. And the hurt sometimes was that deep down, pit of the stomach hurt. The kind that makes you on the verge of crying all day, and wanting to curl up in a ball and never move from your bed. (I never want to ever feel that again). Trust is such a big thing. Like huge! And its not just people we trust. We trust that our cars are going to start in the morning when we need to leave for work, and that they are going to get us there safely. And that comes naturally, right? Why then, is it so hard to trust another human being? Sometimes I think we underestimate the power that we have on other people. The power to make someone else feel so deeply is something that we manipulate and take advantage of. We are selfish human beings. In our own ways of course. Some more than others but its there in all of us. How people are selfish and in what way they are selfish speaks volumes to me. There is a way to be selfish and not step on other people in the process. There is a way to succeed and progress in your life without needing to manipulate or take advantage of other people. So why do some of us do it anyways? Easier? More beneficial? That expression of... "wanting to have your cake and eat it too"? I honestly don't have the answer. I have come across so many people that have all these expectations for others in their lives (some even aren'tout of line or asking too much), however when it comes time for that individual to show up, they don't live by their own expectations.... that sentence was a little confusing. For example, today, sitting in the classroom observing a student with high behavioral concerns, I gave and set forth the expectation that the water bottle needed to stay on the counter while this student went and did the worksheet with the class. They complied until they saw me bring my water bottle over to the table where the worksheets were. What do you think my reaction should be when this student then runs and gets their water bottle? That I am the teacher and they should do as I say and not as I do? Absolutely not. I would never set forth an expectation that I don't plan to follow myself. It breaks that relationship that I've worked hard to build and the trust. So promises run the same way. I would never tell someone that I will do something that I had no intention of actually doing. This has happened so many times in my life. To the point where I HATE promises. The ones that give me the hardest time, are the promises that are made for later on in the future (I'm also extremely impatient, by the way). It's a long time to wait for a potential broken promise. And even if the promise won't be broken at the end of the wait period, I don't trust it enough. Solutions? Right now, I have none. In my 'About Me' section of my blog I wrote that I will be sharing my strengths and weaknesses. Trust is a big weakness of mine. I am great at running away or refusing to indulge something I do not trust. And that has gotten me close to nowhere. Has this happened to any of you? Do you feel as if broken promises give you the same reaction they do me? What do you do when someone breaks a promise or your trust? How do you move on from it?
