Case of the Monday's

Oh Mondays. How you always seem to come in with a bang. Today was just one thing after another. The fact that a five year old kindergarten student could curse me out today and make me feel like I didn't know how to do my job should've been my red flag that today was going to be a typical Monday. I always try to be positive Monday mornings. And attempt to appreciate how slow they go by because once we hit Wednesday it feels like the end of the week and weekend is such a blur. But honestly, today, I wish it would have just ended the minute I walked into work.

All day at work, I am called to deal with problem behaviors throughout the school. I love my job. I love all the students that I get to interact with, the teachers and faculty and team that I get to be a part of, the environment and community that surrounds me. It's all literally amazing. However, Monday morning, 8:45 am, the last thing I want to be doing is running sprints down the hallway trying to catch a student that had just eloped from the classroom. And these sprints continued throughout the entire day. It amazed me with how much energy this student had, and how much I didn't have come 3:15 pm. It was in that moment that my brain decided to go into deep thought. (don't ask me why lol)

Children. Each and every one of them have their own personality, their own character, their own agenda. Now every classroom is becoming more acquainted with children with different diagnosis. It is amazing when you really sit back and take a look at one classroom as a whole. I did that today, before the buss' were called and parent pick-up kids ran to the door. One day I am going to be a parent of one of these popcorn throwing, Lego chewing, hyperactive kids. And I am going to love it. I am going to love the chaos of soccer practices and dance lessons. The busy schedules with work, after school programs and play dates. I am going to love coming home to snuggle and look into the eyes of a child that looks up to me to show them the way.

show them the way...

And that's where I stopped that thought. The way of what? Life? HA! Half the time I don't even have it figured out. I'll be 27 in thirty days and I still have a hard time deciding right from wrong sometimes. The thought of having a baby,a child, another human being watching my every move, is scary. But I look at some of the children's lives that walk into the classroom. I can see their struggle and pain and anxiety and stress. And they are only 5. And I want nothing more than to take it all away. I think back to my childhood and the things that I witnessed, dealt with, learned from. I would never wish it on my worst enemy. Children are so innocent. Some psychology freaks (like myself) will say that they are born with this clean slate. This blank piece of paper. They look to every adult around them to show them the way. Right from wrong. Up from down. But also to give them the freedom and wiggle room to make their own mistakes. Children need a soft place to land, in good and bad times. Is that any different than us? As adults? I sit here and chuckle to myself because as I sat back today trying to role model and trying to teach these kids right from wrong and how to use their words, I discovered that I am learning from them just as much as they are from me.

I don't know about you guys, but I still need my soft place to land. And today, I was so caught up in politics and job description and who wasn't doing what, that I neglected to realize the real reason as to why I am where I am. And that is for those children. Because believe it or not, those children are my soft place to land Monday - Friday. They were the ones that went through this terrible Monday with me today, and they will be there tomorrow to welcome me with a fresh new smile on their faces.

Now do I still want kids one day? Absolutely. I would love a big family. But right now I have two Kindergarten classrooms full of kids just waiting to welcome me with huge smiles on their faces tomorrow morning. And for right now, that is enough.

So many emotions today. From so many different angles. But that's what a good case of the Monday's will do to ya.