Me

It's been awhile since I've written a blog. Seems as if my life has just had a plan of it's own recently. Life is very simple. We are the ones that complicate it. We complicate it with so many different things, love, money, expectations and materialistic things. I am guilty of complicating my own life time and time again. I get so caught up in the emotions and expectations that I forget to live my life. I miss out on so many opportunities that come my way because I would rather put others before me. I would chose an individual that I do not know on the side of the street, before I chose myself. That is who I am, and that will not change.

There are things we all love and dislike about ourselves. Some of us its body image, others its drinking. For some, like me it may be that we have too big of a heart for others to understand. I have only met a handful of people that have been able to take my heart and cherish it. Respect the woman that I am and not take me for granted. A lot of people that I have met understood the type of person that I am and took everything that I had. Now some of that is my fault. I gave it up. I opened my heart, arms, and eyes and allowed these people right on in. But why? Why sit here and continue to be disrespected, continue to try and fix what I didn't break? Because that is who I am. And who I am some people are not able to handle. Some individuals are so caught up in the negative and what bad things could possibly happen, that they are unable to see the positive and love and respect that I offer.

A big lesson of mine, recently has been that I can't change and/or fix anyone or anything. I can do my best to work really hard, but in the end its not me needing the change. There have been times that I have made a compromise. But see, with me, a compromise means I change a 100%. Because If I am doing something that may bother another individual then I will change. I have no problem doing so, I just never really set an expectation in return. So it gets complicated. I then begin to complicate my own life more than someone else already has.

So then I ask, why settle, why invest all of me in someone or something that doesn't invest just as much back? Why in the world do I put all of my eggs in one basket and bet my life on one thing? The only answer i've come up with, is because I love. I love unconditionally. I love hard. I love when its simple but even more so when it's complicated. I fight, until there is no battle. I pull close in times where everyone else wants to push away. I fix. I try to fix.

And that's where I currently am sitting now. I know me, I know who I am, I know what I am worth, I know what I deserve. But it's time for me to learn a new lesson, and that is, stepping down when it's time to. Moving on before it gets too bad and more hearts get broken. It's time for me to learn a lesson of knowing what I am worth and never lowering that expectation to get it.

Remember your self worth. Have a good friend of yours remind you of who you are and why you're amazing. Each and everyone of you deserves respect and having a partner or friend in your life that knows how much you are truly worth. Never forget that. Never forget who you are. And never forget that you are worth it.