When Life Hands You Lemons.

All my life, I've been thrown these curve balls. These crazy roller coasters that I thought would never end. For the last almost 26 years of my life It's been an up and down mess. High school was a mess, for the most part. Moved to CT middle of my senior year, jumped right on the basketball team and I loved every second of the year 2009. Between playing basketball and meeting amazing friends. I also graduated and decided what I was going to do for the rest of my life. The next year was rough. Had the usual family stuff, school, personal life, relationships and friendships that just didn't work. Then SCSU. Oh Southern! That school shaped me into the person I am today. Believe it or not! I hit rock bottom at SCSU, with internships, friendships, relationships and school. But I also was the most successful I've ever been at SCSU. Managing 6 classes, 3 internships, an RA position, and an on campus job.

However, looking back at all the bad things that life threw at me... They all seem so small. I remember breaking down to a close friend of mine almost every night that I got home from my internships. I remember screaming at ex boyfriends and acting like that crazy girlfriend that we all have inside of us somewhere. I remember thinking I wasn't going to make it in the Psych Mental Health program. I remember my advisor telling me I needed to pick a different career. I remember the heart break and how cold and lonely rock bottom felt. But it doesn't hurt anymore. I am able to look back and reflect how I felt at that time without reliving the moments piece by piece.

I tell you all this because today, I felt it. Today it seems like all my emotions hit me at once. Between personal health things, relationships, friendships, work.. it all just came crashing down on my shoulders and I broke. I broke into what felt like a million pieces. I allowed myself to feel every emotion that was going through my body. I allowed myself to think and process the events and emotions. Then I allowed myself to go back. Go back to those days that I thought were so terrible in the moment. I allowed myself to remember the times I didn't think that I would get through. And I smiled. Because yes it feels like I am being pushed down, like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. But this is just a moment in life where I feel, process, reflect and move on. This is soon going to be another reminder of how strong I am. A reminder of what I can endure and what I can push through.

Something I want all of you to know. You are the most important person in your life. And I am sure I have said this so many times in my blogs. But I think it is important. There are going to be things that happen to you that are going to suck. Things that hurt so bad that you want to just sit in your room for days on days and not come out. Days where you wish you could find just the right words to help people understand. And moments where you're self worth and respect for yourself are thrown out the window for someone else. But all these things can be fixed. All of those things seem so incredibly terrible and so incredibly unbearable. But you can get through it. Somewhere along the way you ran into a situation that felt similar, a situation where you felt just as lost. And you got through it. Never doubt yourself. Never dull your strength and never underestimate the power of pain. You can rise above it! You can and will get past this.